The Official Guide to Rescuing and Damsels in Distress by K Alexander

Author:K Alexander [Alexander, K]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: ! Yes
Publisher: Internet
Published: 2011-03-03T06:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY positive that you haven't seen them around, Daedalus?"

"Oh, yes, positive. Definitely."

"Eric, I'm going to slice off his ears. I don't like them."

"Now sheathe your sword, will you? Look how pale he's gone. That's because you're frightening him."

"Eventually it will be from loss of blood. Hehehe."

"That blade's going to slip and then nobody will be laughing. Put it away."

"But see how he blinks so much faster when I do this. Rather entertaining, you have to admit."

"Ack!"

"Now look what you've done!"

"Well, I would apologise and say I'm sorry, except that it would be a lie and I'm a generally truthful sort of person. Anyhow, I expect that will heal in a few days. Barely a scratch."

"Why are you doing this to me?!"

"Hey, don't look at me! I'm not doing a thing. Direct your gaze to the crazy dark knight over there, because the only thing to see in this direction is me accepting no responsibility at all."

"Two reasons, Daedalus. Firstly, I take offence to the fact that your name is not Aldrich. It is just against the laws of nature, you understand."

"Aldrich was the previous owner! I would have lost customers if I'd changed the name! That's not a fair thing to hold against me!"

"He's actually got an excellent point there, Crispin."

"No, Eric, I've got an excellent point - on the end of my sword. Damn, look, now it has a spot of blood on it. Besides, when have I ever cared about fair?"

"Well, there is the matter of a fair-haired young woman at this moment on her way to…"

"Excuse me…"

"… god knows where, and I think a fair amount of …"

"Excuse me…"

"… caring for is evident in that specific case."

"Eric, you're full of …"

"Excuse me…"

"… badger poop. WHAT?"

"I was just wondering about the second thing."

"What are you talking about?"

"The second thing. You said two reasons. Maybe if you tell me we can settle this quickly and with no - further - damage to anybody present…"

"Oh, that. Please don't whine, I hate that. The second thing is that you are trying to convince me that you have never seen a certain blonde-haired princess with a male friend who is also a player. I want that princess - shut up, Eric, I mean that I want her here, shut up - and if you can't be persuaded to change your name for the sake of all that's good and reasonable, you must at the very least oblige me with this, do you understand?"

"But I see a lot of people! You can't possibly expect of me to make use of such a sweeping description!"

"Oh, but I do. I'm completely, utterly, dementedly unreasonable. I thought you might have realised that after the small accident with your chin. Would you like me to draw you a map on your chest?"

Aggrieved sighs all around.

"Crispin, don't think that I don't recognise that glint in your eye. Don't even consider doing that here!"

"What is she …"?

"Look, I beg of you - just tell her what she wants to know.

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